Outdoor Curtains

I saw a post recently on one of my favorite home blogs, 4 Men 1 Lady, about outdoor curtains. We have a little covered back porch, and I'd love to get some curtains for it. The houses in our neighborhood are pretty close together and it'd be nice to have some privacy for summer nights. The exterior colors of our house are a light and medium olive, and I'd like the drapes to coordinate with the living room, since you can see it right through the windows. Here's some fabrics I like--

PK Lifestyles Pretty Edgy

Robert Allen: Nautical Sand Dune

Richloom Solarium Cruze Summer

Best Coin Ever Spent

I saw this video over the weekend on Facebook and just had to share. How beautiful is this music? I love seeing the wonder in everybody's faces, especially the children. Now that is a flash mob!

Hello, Spring

Happy Spring, friends! Hopefully the weather is springy and lovely where you are. In our neck of the woods, Denver, we're about to get an early spring snowstorm. The estimated accumulation is about 8 inches, so I'm going to pick up a redbox and some provisions for us to have warm, comforting meals over the weekend.

Spring means so much more to me this year than it ever has. I love the idea of fresh buds popping up, and new life taking form. We had a long fall and winter, hunkered down in our house when we weren't at the hospital receiving treatment or surgeries. The change in season is giving me renewed energy for my new, healthy life ahead. I'm almost halfway done with radiation and can see the sunshine ahead!

Cute "Mom" Shoes

Earlier this week I posted about designer collaborations for Sperry and Keds. I had some store credits, so I picked up two of my own. Opting for more classic (and affordable) styles, I wanted some cute, functional "mom shoes". Something that I could get on easily, wear with most of my outfits, and easily go from the grocery store to the park. Here's what I got-- what do you think?

Navy Blue Keds

(best price I found is from DSW)

Audrey by Sperry
(use Ebates for Piperlime)

By Your Side

After everything I've been through emotionally over the course of my diagnosis and treatment, everything has seemed different. Songs, poems, books, movies, that I experienced pre-cancer have taken on such different meanings during my treatment. This song is no exception. This experience can be, and is, very isolating. Not only is it really strange to have breast cancer at 25, and it's not something that a lot of people can relate to, as hard as they try. On that same token, it's nice to know that we're never alone. This song reminds me of holding onto God, but at the same time fighting back and wondering how he could let this happen to me.

Radiation is my first treatment where I have to be completely by myself, whereas Ryan was with me during all chemo and Benjamin was sweetly inside me during any surgery, I'm in a cold room of big machines being spoken to through a speaker in the ceiling. I've turned to comforting music that remind me I'm never alone. Whatever it takes to help me get through these 30 treatments, right?

By Your Side: Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHgNCj4DU_M


Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching
As if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

'Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, yeah I'll love you
I'll never let you go, no, no

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at my side, my hands are holding you

Designer Collaborations: Keds and Sperry

Lately I was looking into some options for "mom" shoes. Shoes that are still fashionable, but easy to get on and off and chase my little guy around when the weather gets nice. Sperry and Keds came to mind. I had credits for Piperlime and DSW so was able to get a pair of each on the cheap. While I opted for the more traditional styles, Angelfish Sperry and Navy Keds, I couldn't help but notice the super stylist collaborations with these two designers and two high end designers.

Milly for Sperry

Kate Spade for Keds

These collections run more expensive since they're high end designer collaborations, and if we had some extra cash right now I would definitely spring for a pair! How fun are these styles?

Photo Book: Benjamin's Newborn Session

Here's an online preview of the photo book that I made from Benjamin's newborn session. Someone posted an awesome Shutterfly LivingSocial deal on our Stapleton Moms email list, and I couldn't resist. Photos are my Tami Wilson Photography in Denver, Colorado.

Click here to view this photo book larger

You'll love Shutterfly's award-winning photo books. Try it today.

Ragu Bolognese

One of my favorite shows is The Chew, I have a series recording and watch it every day. They always show delicious looking recipes, but this was my first time actually making something from the show. Mario Batali made this Ragu Bolognese on the Viewer's Choice episode last week. The recipe was super easy to follow and the dish was super yummy!

Photo from ABC

A few notes: I used a can of tomato paste instead of the tube, basil instead of parsley, and ground turkey instead of the meats suggested. We also used rigatoni because we couldn't find the noodles that they used on the show-- you'd probably have to go to a specialty store.

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-chew/recipes/Ragu-Bolognese-Mario-Batali

Ingredients:

ingredients

• 1/4 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 2 tablespoons Butter
• 2 medium Onions (finely chopped)
• 4 ribs Celery (finely chopped)
• 2 Carrots (finely chopped)
• 5 Garlic cloves (sliced)
• 1 pound ground Pork
• 1 pound ground Veal
• 4 ounces Pancetta or Slab Bacon (run through the medium holes of the butcher's grinder)
• 1 4.5-ounce tube of Tomato Paste
• 1 cup Whole Milk
• 1 cup Dry White Wine
• 1/2 cup Parsley (leaves picked and chopped)
• Salt
• 1 1/2 pounds Fresh Taglietelle
• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano (plus more for garnish)

Why? A Post from CaringBridge

I don't really talk about my cancer a lot on this blog, since it's more upbeat. Yesterday I posted this on our CaringBridge site and I think that it warranted being re-posted on here. My hope is that another young woman will come across this and it'll help her deal with what she is feeling about her own diagnosis and treatment.

This is hard. Cancer sucks. It is not smiles and pink ribbons and pink coffee mugs. Some days I feel really upbeat and like I can conquer the world, and others I find myself wiping my tears with one of Ben’s burp cloths. I have prayed and soul searched so much over the past 6 months. Why did this happen to me? What did I ever do that was bad enough to deserve this?

Not only myself, but I consistently worry about everyone around me. How it’s affecting my husband, how is it for him to look at other women who have hair and aren't covered by scars robbing them of their femininity. The fear he must feel about potentially losing his wife, physically and emotionally from this disease. About my parents. Parents should never have to bury their children, and I hate that this disease I’m fighting makes that a not too unrealistic thought.

Someone gave me advice early on that having a positive attitude really helps with treatment, recovery, and recurrence. I agree. It keeps you from getting down in the dumps and losing the energy to move forward. I try and put on a positive face every day, and if I had a nickel for every person that told me “how positive” I am or what a “great outlook” I have, we wouldn’t be asking for donations for medical bills. But here’s the thing, sometimes trying to be positive all the time can be bad. Like how I don’t feel like I can be negative. Being honest about my darker feelings, depression, or anger feels like I’m letting everyone down. Like everyone will realize that maybe I wasn’t really so positive. I read a quote that said something to the effect of “cancer doesn’t make you a more positive person, it just makes you a better actress”. Truer words have never been spoken. Although I do feel like forcing myself to have more positive thoughts makes me really start to believe them.

Sometimes I just really want to be angry, though. I want to go out in my back yard and scream up at the sky. I want to scream at God for dealing me these cards that have absolutely rocked me to my core. I want to kick and scream and go to that place in San Francisco where you can pay to throw plates at walls.  Dealing with your own mortality is serious business. When the cancer takes over your body and you’re nothing left but a shell of a person, the loved ones around you will never forget seeing you that way. I look down at this baby sleeping on my chest, and he needs his mother. I want to live to worry about Benjamin being out later than his curfew, and to pin his corsage for prom. I want to meet his girlfriend that will become his wife, and dance with him at his wedding. I don’t want him to grow up as a child that lost a parent. And Ryan, poor Ryan. Nobody thinks when they get married at 23 that the “sickness and in health” part will come into play for many decades to come, not two years down the road. This man has been through so much over the past six months. Although not physically enduring the surgeries and treatments, he’s been right there by my side. I have never felt alone in this whole process because of him. He fights right beside me during the day, and holds me while I cry out of fear at night. What did this loving, compassionate person do to deserve having a wife diagnosed with a life threatening disease in his twenties? It seems like everyone else our age is living with no major worries or struggles, enjoying their twenties.  I’m shaken at the thought of leaving Ryan as a widow to raise Benjamin on his own.

Breast cancer is horrible and mean and sneaky. Just when you think it’s under control and gone, it comes back with a vengeance. It’s like a nasty, slimy, monster that wants to steal mothers from their children, wives from their husbands, and daughters from their parents. It’s wrong. It shouldn’t happen to anyone, any family, any friend. We need research and we need medications to treat triple negative. My friends I’ve met on this journey are also daughters, sisters, friends, and mothers. I wish I had a million dollars and a pair of boxing gloves. I would donate all of the money to research for medication to keep this disease for coming back to me, and I would use the gloves to physically beat the crap out of this monster

Triple Negative Breast Cancer Day

Today is the first annual Triple Negative Breast Cancer Day. At 3pm local time, please take a minute to honor those women who have passed, and the women who are currently fighting this horrible disease. Do self checks and be your own advocate. Cancer doesn't discriminate by age, race, finances, or anything. Every 12 hours another woman is diagnosed with TNBC and that woman is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend of someone.

Triple Negative is a much more agressive type of breast cancer. It's less understood, more likely to recur, and more difficult to treat. As of this time there are no targeted therapies or maintenance treatments to keep this from coming back-- just maintenance checks with an oncologist and prayer. PLEASE post this on your blog or facebook page. Awareness equals research and that's what we need. I need to live to see my son grow up and get married, and get wrinkly with my husband. #TNBCday

You can read about our journey with this disease on our caringbridge: www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahaddison and our fundraising page www.gofundme.com/sarahaddison