By Your Side

After everything I've been through emotionally over the course of my diagnosis and treatment, everything has seemed different. Songs, poems, books, movies, that I experienced pre-cancer have taken on such different meanings during my treatment. This song is no exception. This experience can be, and is, very isolating. Not only is it really strange to have breast cancer at 25, and it's not something that a lot of people can relate to, as hard as they try. On that same token, it's nice to know that we're never alone. This song reminds me of holding onto God, but at the same time fighting back and wondering how he could let this happen to me.

Radiation is my first treatment where I have to be completely by myself, whereas Ryan was with me during all chemo and Benjamin was sweetly inside me during any surgery, I'm in a cold room of big machines being spoken to through a speaker in the ceiling. I've turned to comforting music that remind me I'm never alone. Whatever it takes to help me get through these 30 treatments, right?

By Your Side: Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHgNCj4DU_M


Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching
As if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

'Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, yeah I'll love you
I'll never let you go, no, no

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at my side, my hands are holding you